After reading all the books and endlessly picking my mama friends’ brains, I thought I knew exactly what to expect when I was expecting. Turns out, I was still in for a few jaw-droppers.
1. I’m No Longer Squeamish About Bodily Functions
Two years ago, I never would have imagined that I’d be plunging my hands into a poopy toilet on a daily basis—voluntarily and without batting an eyelash. But now that I have a kid, I have zero qualms touching substances that would have made me gag in the past.
I’ll use my bare hand to wipe my son Theo’s nose without giving it a second thought. I am completely unphased by washing poo off his diapers. When he had reflux, my clothing would be so soaked in spit-up by the end of the day that you could practically wring it out…and I’m only slightly embarrassed to admit that I’d occasionally wear the same thing two days in a row just to avoid doing laundry. About a year ago, a bad stomach bug manifested in Theo suffering from projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea. Honestly, all I cared about was caring for him. (Well, okay—after the diarrhea incident I did rush to the shower the second I had a chance!)
MORE: What Returning From Maternity Leave is REALLY Like
2. I Actually Did Fall in Love at First Sight
When I was pregnant, people told me that I’d be head over heels for my baby the second he or she was born. But I was skeptical. … It was hard for me to believe that I could be so smitten with someone I hadn’t even had a chance to get to know. Plus, even though I always wanted a family, I’ve never been a baby person—I’d rather be having a thought-provoking conversation with an adult than be cooing over an infant. (That’s another thing that’s changed, by the way—now, I’m a sucker for babies, fawning over every one I see.)
Still, when our midwife placed Theo on my chest, I was instantly and irrevocably obsessed. The weird thing was, it didn’t feel at all like I was meeting him for the first time. I felt so connected and familiar with him right from the start that it was almost like he was an extension of me—I guess, in a way, he was. Maybe it was the effects of the crazy hormones or the fact that we’d gone through the most intense experience of both of our lives together (a 36-hour labor, including four hours of pushing, sans epidural), but the second I felt his little body against mine, I understood that we knew each other inside and out and that I already loved him incredibly deeply. Of course this was the little person who had entered our lives—it could only have been him.
3. After Having a Baby, I Still Looked Six Months Pregnant
I feel like everyone and their mother knows this one already, so I’m not quite sure how it slipped past me! Of course, I figured I’d have extra pounds to shed post-baby, but I was completely taken aback by the reality that I’d literally look like I had a bun in the oven for the first few weeks. Your uterus expands when you’re pregnant, and it takes time for it to shrink back down to normal. Total shocker!
4. Breastfeeding is Harder Than Crossfit
Nursing your baby sounds like it should be such a natural, instinctive process. Yet it was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. First off, who knew you actually needed to teach your baby how to latch on to the breast? I’ll happily show you how to make banana bread or write a blog post…but where on earth would I start instructing an infant on how to drink milk? (I spent a lot of time on YouTube and hired a lactation consultant.)
Then, since Theo ended up spitting up half of his food, I had to increase my milk supply. So I stocked up on galactagogues (foods and herbs that promote lactation, in case you didn’t know) with exotic names like fenugreek and blessed thistle, baked breastfeeding cookies (yes, these are a thing), and downed a gallon of water every 24 hours. It was an all-consuming undertaking: For the first year of his life, half of my day was devoted to nursing and pumping, the rest to scouring the Internet for tips and calling friends for advice. I read three books all about breastfeeding—one of which was 576 pages long. (Did you know that milk production peaks at 3 a.m.? Or that you should never shake a bottle of breastmilk? Or that most women get more milk from the right side than the left? Now you do!)
In addition to the mental stress of making sure my kid was gaining weight, breastfeeding is physically exhausting. At the end of the day, I’d feel like I’d run a half-marathon and I was as ravenous as a college athlete. I used to roll my eyes when celebs would show off their svelte post-prego bods and claim it was all from breastfeeding, but I ate twice as much as usual and still had to fight to keep pounds on.
5. I Had No Idea How Good a Hug Could Be
I’m naturally affectionate—I love snuggling up with my sweet husband and spooning my amazing dog. But nothing in the universe is better than cuddling with a baby. It’s one of the rare times that I can truly surrender because there’s no place either of us would rather be. When Theo puts his arms around my neck, gives me a kiss on the cheek, nuzzles his head into my chest, and sighs with satisfaction, life is just…perfect.
MORE: The Right Time to Have a Baby
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Molly Triffin is a freelance writer living in Stowe, Vermont.
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