Stop everything: Hollywood's silver fox has finally decided to settle down. George Clooney is engaged to 36-year-old British attorney Amal Alamuddin, sources confirmed to People. George was actually married at one point to actress Talia Balsam, whom he divorced way back in 1993. Since then, he’s been linked with a series of stunning women, including Elisabetta Canalis and Stacy Keibler, but he's been pretty vocal about the fact that he wasn’t planning on a putting a ring on it ever again...until now.
Seriously, we were pretty certain that the 52-year-old playboy would never walk down the aisle again. Here's a list of things we swore would happen before a Clooney engagement announcement:
Scientists conclude that carbs actually lead to weight loss.
We can dream, right? Even though there are plenty of carbs you can eat while trying to slim down, we're guessing that an all-carb diet isn't going to get the green light from nutritionists anytime soon—not even if George visited their offices and winked at them...
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Leonardo DiCaprio wins an Oscar.
If we had to place an Oscars bet on which would come first: Leo (finally!) taking home the prize or George walking down the red carpet with his wife, we'd definitely bet on the former.
The Sex & The City 7 movie hits theaters.
Come on, don’t pretend you aren't curious to know what these ladies would be doing (or who they'd be dating) in 2020. If Chris Noth backs out, we will accept betrothed George Clooney as a viable substitute for Big.
Male birth control officially becomes the norm.
Last summer, researchers said that we're probably about 10 years away from a birth control pill for men. Still, we kind of assumed that our guys would be popping this way before George popped the question.
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Women stop faking orgasms once and for all.
Can you imagine a world where fake orgasms didn’t exist? You just had an amazing, mindblowing orgasm every single time—and so did your partner. It's probably about as magical as a world where George Clooney is married.
Doctors find a definitive cure for PMS.
No more cramps, bloating, unexplainable rage, and super-annoying acne every month. Yes, that’s the (slightly unrealistic) future that we dream about. But hey, if George can get married again, anything can happen, right?!
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Blue Ivy releases her debut album.
Cue iTunes crashing for hours. But really, doesn't this sound way more likely than Hollywood's forever-bachelor tying the knot again?
Teleportation becomes a thing.
Seriously, do we have people working on this yet? Are we almost there? Because really, getting to the gym would be a lot easier if we could just snap our fingers and end up in the weight room.
The world ends.
I mean, technically, a part of our world did end today—the part of our world that included a perpetually single George Clooney that you could hypothetically run into at the coffee shop and fall in love with. But now, that part of our lives is over. Obviously, we wish Amal and George a lifetime of happiness—but man are we going to miss playing that little fantasy in our heads.
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