This is the time of year when everyone launches a self-improvement campaign. But since most people give up on their New Year's resolutions by February—at the latest—you need a creative way to keep yourself on track. Through my work as a life coach, I've discovered a no-fail strategy: Start as you usually would by making a promise to yourself, but—and here's where it gets a little hard—if you don't do what you vowed, whether it's to stop swearing or look for a new job, give yourself a consequence. Sounds cruel (and, um, not for grown-ups), but I can personally vouch for its effectiveness. If it weren't for this system, I'd be 30 pounds overweight, divorced, and in a failing business! Use these four steps to get tough with yourself—and make 2014 the year you finally accomplish your goals.
Choose your consequence. In order to make yourself stick with something, you have to come up with a deterrent to quitting that would be unpleasant specifically for you. For example, a caffeine junkie could deprive herself of that glorious morning coffee if she doesn't make it to the gym. Think of things that are uncomfortable and annoying, not harsh or physically painful.
Enlist others. If no one but you knows about the repercussions, it's easy not to enforce them. Ask those close to you to hold you accountable. . .or make them part of your comeuppance. For example, if you're late to a dinner date, you have to pick up the tab for the meal. Most people will have no problem calling you out on a slipup (especially if there's something in it for them!).
Pay up immediately. When you falter, address it ASAP. It's natural to want to drag your feet before, say, doing your roommate's chores or laying off social networking for an entire day. But spending a lot of time dreading whatever you're about to do to make amends takes you away from working toward your goal. If you'd just gotten it over with, you could already be back on your way to chiseling better abs or changing careers.
Focus on the positive. There's an important distinction between giving yourself consequences and beating yourself up. The latter can mess with your self-esteem and make you feel as if you might as well ditch the whole self-betterment quest. If you do revert to your old ways, look at your lumps as a learning experience and quickly begin looking forward again. Eventually you will be able to adhere to your new habit simply because it makes you feel good.
Laurie Gerber is an executive vice president and senior coach at Handel Group Life Coaching, which works with people to design and realize their dreams. Visit handelgroup.com.
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