Flashing your cash may catch her attention, but it probably won’t catch her. Women are more attracted to savers than spenders, says a new University of Michigan study.
And it’s not necessarily because she wants to raid your bank account. “Saving conveys self-control—that you can inhibit your impulses,” says study author Jenny Olson. This may translate to good qualities outside the financial domain, like conscientiousness and commitment. In the study, savers were even rated as more physically attractive, probably because the willpower it takes to save also suggests that you exercise and eat right.
There’s a cost to stashing your cash, though. “People do evaluate savers as less exciting than spenders,” Olson admits. The good news is that excitement isn’t something women prioritize for long-term relationships. In fact, the ladies who said savers weren’t very adventurous still thought they were more attractive then spenders.
Want to show her you’re bold and smart with your money? Plan one of these fun, but not too frivolous, dates.
1. Take a hike—ideally to a place with a final destination, like a waterfall or an overlook—and pack a picnic to share at the top. The benefit: You’re giving her a new experience, not just dropping dough on a fancy dinner. In the study, saving for an experience was seen as sexier than saving for a material purchase.
2. Cook dinner together, and pick dishes neither of you have ever prepared, like sushi or crème brulee. “This pushes both of you out of your comfort zone,” says Olson. “And if it doesn’t work, you can laugh at the failed attempt together. It creates fun memories.”
3. It’s state fair season, which means one thing: an adrenaline rush from scary rides—and frightening fried foods. Plus, “it’s fun to people-watch together,” Olson says. Challenge: See who can spot a mullet first!
4. Hit up your local thrift shop, and pick out crazy outfits for each other. Then go out on the town in your new ensembles, suggests Olson. You’ll get a few looks, but more importantly, you’ll share a few laughs.
5. This one’s for committed couples only: Set aside a Sunday to open-house hop, and fantasize about owning the homes you tour with her. “It conveys that you’re thinking longer term, without the scariness of signing that lease together,” says Olson.
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