For hotter sex, talk about your fantasies. Telling your girlfriend about your dreams may enhance your intimacy, finds a new Danish study.
Why? Describing what you think about when you doze off is a veiled way to discuss your emotions. “Dreams are a very private thing, as they reflect highly personal matters,” says study author Michael Rodhe Olsen. “So, if you choose to share your dreams with your partner, it will automatically bring you closer, since you get to talk about topics that you wouldn’t otherwise talk about.”
Some of your midnight musings may do more for your bond than others. Olsen suggests revealing dreams about life stressors—for example, you’re being chased by your boss—or those in which your partner pops up. If your fantasy is embarrassing—say, your partner is a prisoner, and you’re the controlling warden—“you don’t necessarily have to tell the exact content,” says Olsen. Extrapolate instead: “You could just, for instance, ask, ‘Honey, do you think that I, in any way, limit you in our relationship?’”.
The study found that dream sharing among couples declined over time. But Olsen advises opening up once a week. “Of course, I would not recommend sharing all dreams,” he adds. The biggie Olsen says is off limits: sex with your ex. Consider that an overshare.
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