If she comes to you with a problem, don’t brush it off—no matter how small it sounds. Feeling a lack of support from your spouse can lead to inflammation, increasing your risk for cardiovascular disease and other health problems, finds new research from the University of Utah.
What gives? When you sense that your partner doesn’t care, it activates areas in the brain associated with threat, leading to the release of inflammatory hormones, says study author Bert Uchino, Ph.D.
The effect doesn’t show up if your girlfriend tells you good news and you snub her, though. That’s probably because it’s more difficult to share worries than excitement with someone, Uchino says. “When this doesn’t go right, we’re left with bad feelings that linger for a longer period of time,” he says.
And while the study didn’t test if your ambivalence also gives you inflammation, previous research finds that showing your support might be good for your health by increasing positive emotions and providing meaning to life, Uchino says.
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