Every so often, crazy stories about the objects found in people’s butts, vaginas, and other human holes make the news. (Remember the woman who forgot she had a sex toy in her vagina for 10 years?) As it turns out, these too-ridiculous-to-be-true incidents actually happen a lot more frequently than you might think. We asked an emergency room doctor and nurse about the weirdest stuff they’ve taken out of people. You'll never think of orifices the same way again.
Phallic Food
Alendro Alhambra, R.N., the patient care manager at the University of Chicago Medical Center and a former emergency room nurse, has seen women who have used frozen hot dogs and bananas as makeshift sex toys on multiple occasions. The thing is, as these foods thaw, little pieces of them break off and get stuck in the women's vaginas.
A Cell Phone
One lady somehow lost her partner's smart phone in her vagina when she and her partner were fooling around, says Alhambra. Though the details about how the phone ended up there are a bit fuzzy, the doctors got it out and returned it to the woman, who said she needed to give it back to her man.
Dildos
“It's always the dildos,” says Alhambra. He estimates that these cases make their way into the emergency room where he works at least once a month.
A Glass Soda Bottle
When a bottle is inserted into a rectum, it can cause suction, and it won’t come out easily, says Darria Gillespie, M.D., an assistant professor in the department of emergency medicine at Emory University School of Medicine. Unfortunately, one of Gillespie's patients learned this the hard way.
Hairspray
Alhambra says a woman with an aerosol can of hairspray in her vagina once showed up while he was working.
A Remote Control
Another woman had a TV remote control lodged in her vagina, says Gillespie. No word on whether she was able to change the channel via kegel.
A Vibrator
Yikes: When this guy went into surgery, the vibrator was still buzzing away in his anus, says Alhambra.
Paper Towels
One woman had a wad of paper towels up inside of her for about two weeks before it was extracted in the emergency room, says Alhambra.
More from Women’s Health:
When You SHOULD Go to an Urgent Care Clinic
The 7 Most Important Vagina Stories from 2014
Your Definitive Guide to Pooping
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