Don’t look now, but the holiday season is fast approaching, and if you’ve been invited to any of your S.O.’s family festivities, it’s time to start prepping. The simplest advice is, of course, to just be yourself. If your partner is into you, why shouldn’t his parents and relatives think you’re equally amazing? In a perfect world, that would probably be the end of this article, but obviously some families aren't always that easy to please (have you seen Meet the Parents?). So you might want to check out these expert suggestions on how to make a good impression:
1. Do Your Homework
Studies on attraction have found that people like people who are similar to them, explains clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg, Ph.D. “Ask your significant other ahead of time about everyone in his family. Then you can find commonalities to discuss with each one when you arrive.” If you put in a little advance research, you won’t be left trying to figure everything out on your feet. And if he has a big family, you’ll be particularly glad you did. Oh, and definitely avoid religion and politics on the first go-round.
2. Dress to Fit In, Not to Show Off
We know it’s not the 1950s, but is it really necessary to wear that red bandage dress and those patent leather stilettos? “You don’t want to dress to kill because you want to fit in and not stand out,” says Greenberg. “That’s the number one mistake people make. The emphasis should be less on impressing and more on fitting in with his family.” But if your guy happens to be the scion of a couture house, that’s a completely different story.
3. Bring a Small Gift
Offering something small but thoughtful is basically an acknowledgment of the invitation his family has extended to you, says Greenberg. This is when your partner should be especially helpful in explaining his parents' tastes (you might think that platter with a horse painted on it is hideous, but they might love it). Just make sure it's something small so it doesn’t seem too showy—flowers, wine, or a thoughtful hostess gift is perfect.
MORE: How to Survive Your In-Laws
4. Offer to Help
Even though you’re there as a guest, offering to help his mother or older brother with the table setting, the finishing touches on the turkey, or the cleanup will go a long way. “People will not remember what you said or what you did, but they will remember how you made them feel,” says Greenberg. “That’s the secret.”
5. Arrange a Pre-Holiday Meeting
If there’s a chance to meet your guy’s family before the big holiday event, you should definitely jump on it, says relationship expert Terri Orbuch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good To Great. A brunch or a dinner (or even a Skype call) with them will make the larger gathering a whole lot easier since you’ve gotten the scary first meeting out of the way ahead of time—and hopefully in a lower-key situation than Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner.
6. Send a Thank-You Card or E-mail
It’s not necessarily tradition to send a note after going to Thanksgiving or a holiday party, but if there’s a chance these people will be your in-laws for the rest of your life, why not? You can keep it simple: Just thank them for the evening, mention something specific that you enjoyed, and say you're looking forward to seeing them again soon.
More from Women’s Health:
How to Get Along with Your In-Laws
10 Women Share the Best Love Advice Their Moms Ever Gave Them
Don’t Let Your Sex Life Suffer This Holiday Season
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