Of course, you can still have great sex without an orgasm, just like you can have a great meal without dessert. But come on, it's not like you're going to pass up that slice of gourmet cheesecake when it's right there—and your orgasm is just as satisfying (if not more so).
So if you're hoping for a more explosive finish, you might just need to make a few tweaks to get there. “There’s no one-size-fits-all position that works for everyone,” explains social psychologist and sex advice columnist Petra Boynton, Ph.D., so you should enjoy finding out which positions bring you the most pleasure based on your size, stamina, and sexual preferences. Of course, most women find that clitoral stimulation is key when it comes to achieving orgasm, but it's not always enough to just head straight to that spot over and over again. Instead, try some of these moves to incorporate all the right sensations you need to take you over the edge:
1. Girl On Top—With Toys
Even though cowgirl isn’t anything new, it provides easy access for clitoral stimulation (and who doesn’t want that?). Have your partner use a vibrator on you while you’re on top, or you can take the reins and apply a little electronic stimulation yourself, suggests Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
2. The Penetration-Free Zone
Sometimes manual stimulation and using sex toys externally can bring on an orgasm even more easily than penetrative sex—especially if that's how you get off when you masturbate. If that's the case, don't be shy about asking your partner to amp up this kind of foreplay before he even enters you. It’s far easier to climax if you remove the pressure from the situation and just focus on what feels good, explains Boynton.
3. Steamy Spooning
Spooning just got hotter. When you’re lying chest to back, slip his erect penis between your thighs and use it for clitoral stimulation, says Kerner. You can control the speed and friction level to get you where you want to go.
MORE: 15 Fantastic Reasons to Have Sex Tonight
4. Pelvic Floor Squeeze
You’ve been doing your Kegels since forever, and now’s the time to use ‘em! Squeezing your pelvic floor muscles mid-sex can enhance sensation for you and him, says Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., associate professor at Indiana University and author of the upcoming book The Coregasm Workout. Continuing to squeeze and release them as you're moving can make it easier to orgasm.
5. The Butterfly
Seated and facing each other with your legs wrapped around either side is the perfect position for mega stimulation, says Herbenick. The upward angle of his penis is perfect for stimulating the front wall of your vagina (where your G-spot is thought be) and you can rub against his pelvis for clitoral stimulation at the same time for a double whammy.
6. Oral Vibrations
Oral sex is great, but it’s even better if you add a vibrator into the mix. If he begins slowly, tracing his tongue around your labia and clitoris, and finishes with a vibrator in the same spots, you can get a steady increase of intensity that can’t be achieved with the mouth alone. Herbenick notes that an intense focus on the clitoris will make it way easier to breeze across the finish line again and again.
MORE: 10 Wild, Crazy, WTF Sex Positions You've Never Heard Of—and Need to Try
7. Missionary with a Helping Hand
It’s all in the hips, says Boynton, so try a “position that allows you to move your hips and grind your pelvis and clitoris against your partner’s body or hand.” One easy way is to get into girl on top while he makes a fist right where your bodies meet. As you move up and down, you'll get the awesome G-spot stimulation—and grinding against his hand can add intense clitoral arousal.
8. Downward Doggy
If regular doggy style doesn't do much for you, try laying flat on your stomach while he enters you from behind. The angle of his penis will give you the same feeling of deep penetration while you also get clitoral stimulation from the surface you're lying on, says Herbenick
9. Modified Missionary
Don’t worry, it’s not the same-old same-old. Start with regular missionary position, and once he’s inside you, move both your legs in between his. Herbenick suggests squeezing your legs together so when he shifts his weight forward and back, you get amazing clitoral stimulation from the shaft of his erection, which can help work up to an epic climax.
MORE: 19 Things You Didn’t Know About Orgasms
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