Wednesday, October 29, 2014

5 Relationship Rules You Should Stop Following Immediately

5 Relationship Rules You Should Stop Following Immediately

Your mom/dad/best friend/grandmother might have meant well, but…

Let’s face it: Most of our friends, family, and co-workers are not actual relationship experts, despite the frequency with which they dole out advice. Some of their "wise" words are obviously outdated ("Wait three days to call after a date." Ha, please.), but others are a little trickier to decipher. When you hear a relationship rule often enough, it can seem like a pretty reasonable truth. But in reality, most pieces of advice aren't going to fit every romantic situation, so it's silly to use them as the basis of your love life. For instance, here are five relationship rules you can just forget immediately: 

You Should Wait for Him to Make the First Move
Whether you want to ask a guy out, initiate the first adult sleepover, or invite him to meet your friends, there's a way better rule you should follow: If you feel like it, go for it. Check out seven times it's perfectly fine to make the first move.

Never Go to Bed Angry
It seems logical that resolving a fight before you get into bed with your partner would help minimize resentment in the morning. But that doesn't mean that you need to stay up until 4 a.m. hashing it out. It might actually be smarter to pause the argument, try to forget about the fight before bed, and talk it out when you're fresh in the morning.  Find out why sometimes you should go to bed angry.

Don't Talk Money—It's Unromantic
Clearly, talking about credit card debt on a first date is not sexy. But if you're getting serious with someone, you should start talking about your spending and saving habits early on. In fact, financial compatibility can be as important as your chemistry between the sheets. Plus, one survey found that money was the number one thing couples wish they'd talked about before moving in together. Yes, it's a hard conversation to have, but it is definitely worth having. 

Ultimatums Are Sometimes Necessary
Even if your parents or married friends swear by this strategy, ultimatums are never a good idea. Instead of helping the relationship, they often make one partner feel pressured into doing something they don't want to do, or they end up being empty threats that breed animosity. Instead, have an open and honest conversation about what you both want for the future in order to see if your values mesh.

Don't Watch Porn—It'll Mess with Your Sex Life
Unless porn makes you or your partner uncomfortable, watching it together can be really erotic. One survey found that women who watched porn with their partner said it boosted the relationship and made them more comfortable asking for what they want in bed. And, as long as you don’t take what you’re seeing too seriously, it could inspire you to try some new positions, toys, or add some kinkiness to your sex lives.

MORE: 6 Dating Rules to Break

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