There are so many pervasive sex myths out there that it’s hard to even know where to begin looking for the facts. From penis size to G-spots to edible aphrodisiacs, how can you separate what’s true and what’s actually something you heard from some kid in fourth grade? Luckily, pediatricians Rachel C. Vreeman, M.D. and Aaron E. Carroll, M.D. did all the work for us with their new book, Don't Put That In There! And 69 Other Sex Myths Debunked by providing the latest scientific studies to separate urban legend from biological fact.
"Even as adults we never really asked anyone about these things or looked at the science behind them," Vreeman explained. So she and Carroll set out to compile and debunk 70 classic myths to help people learn the facts once and for all.
MYTH: Women Really Care About Penis Size
Sure, some individual women might care, but overall, "there's pretty good research showing that penis size matters a lot more to men than to women," says Vreeman. In a survey of 50,000 heterosexual people, "85 percent of women actually said that they’re satisfied with their partner's size," she explained, while only 55 percent of men were satisfied with how they measured up. Whatever he's packing, here are the best sex positions for every size.
MYTH: Chocolate and Oysters Will Get You In The Mood For Sex
Not necessarily, says Vreeman. "There's no evidence that any of these foods have a clear impact on sexual desire or mood." However, the mind is a powerful thing when it comes to sex, she explains, so if a food item reminds you of a certain body part (hello, banana) or is connected to a cultural myth about sexuality, it can just as easily inspire desire. Here are seven foods that will help your libido in more scientific ways (like boosting your testosterone and dopamine levels.)
MYTH: Women NEED Clitoral Stimulation to Climax
Actually, women can have orgasms dozens of different ways. From stimulating breasts and nipples to vaginal or anal penetration, there are a wide variety of roads to the finish line. And interestingly, orgasms that arise from touching other areas of the body besides the genitals are called "zone orgasms," according to Vreeman and Carroll. Check out 19 things you might not know about orgasms for more.
MYTH: Only Men Have Wet Dreams
Wet dreams are really just climaxing in your sleep, and we tend to associate them with men (teenage boys, in particular). However, in a 1986 study, researchers evaluated 245 women at a Midwestern university and found that 37 percent of them had experienced a wet dream, and 30 percent of them had had one within the past year, write Vreeman and Carroll. Sure, it's an old study, but we're guessing a quick poll of your girlfriends will also back this one up: Women can definitely orgasm in their sleep. Next time you have a particularly erotic dream, this might help you decode it.
MYTH: Having Sex Will Help You Lose Weight
If only. While sex does burn calories, it will only burn around 85 to 150 calories for 35 minutes of sex. Since you need to theoretically burn about 3,500 calories to lose one pound of body weight, you’d have to have sex about 35 times to lose a pound, write Vreeman and Carroll. And unfortunately, most people don’t last that long. On average, the increase in heart rate from sex is about the same as walking up two flights of stairs, the authors add. However, these seven exercises for better sex will help you burn calories and boost your sex life.
MYTH: It's Unhealthy to Swallow
Some people think semen is high in calories, while others say it's unsanitary. Both are wrong, write Vreeman and Carroll. The human mouth is filled with far more bacteria than ejaculate is. In fact, most ejaculate is sterile, unless the man producing it has an STI. Here are nine more things you didn't know about sperm.
MYTH: Men Have Their Sexual Peak in Their Late Teens, Women In Their Late Twenties
Wrong. There is no scientifically proven sexual peak, explains Vreeman. "Women especially have this idea that men peak earlier and women peak later. But how are we defining this—hormonal peaks? When you have the most sex or the most orgasms?" There are so many factors that it’s impossible to pin down one age for men or women that will be their sexual apex. This myth is particularly damaging "when it makes women feel guilty or that their best sexual years are behind them," Vreeman continues. "Sexual desire is a fluctuating process and is related to a lot more factors than age." Here's a look at some of the different ages that women found themselves to be the sexiest.
MYTH: Every Woman Has A G-Spot
Ah, the G-Spot, the holy grail of orgasms. But it turns out that researchers still aren't entirely sure if it exists or if all women have one. "There's no good science to prove or disprove it," says Vreeman. "There's no physical spot we can see on a scan, but there are often places where nerves and blood flow come together that we can't see." However other researchers—not to mention regular women—are adamant that it exists and it's wonderful. The bottom line: "If a woman doesn't have that spot, she shouldn't fixate on finding it," suggests Vreeman. "Just focus on experiencing sex in a way that's enjoyable for you." Try these four orgasms every woman should have, whether you've found your G-spot or not.
MYTH: Oral Sex Is Safer Than Vaginal Sex
Only in terms of pregnancy prevention, unfortunately. While it's slightly easier to transmit STI's through vaginal sex, oral sex can definitely transmit infection whether you are on the giving or receiving end. Herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia can all spread through oral, in addition to HPV and HIV. So if you're not sure of your partner's status, your best bet is to use a condom or dental dam when going down, suggest the authors. Find out more info about HPV and oral sex here.
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