In a perfect world, that Ryan Gosling lookalike would just show up at your apartment while you're watching Netflix and sweep you off your feet. But in the real world, you actually have to show up for the dating scene and be a little vulnerable in order to find love.
Take for instance what one woman did during this week's special episode of The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All. When Chris Soules, the sexy farmer from Iowa who was sadly sent home last week, was up on stage speaking with host Chris Harrison, an audience member decided to make her move. Petra, a woman in the audience from Canada, raised her hand and they actually brought her up on stage to ask her question.
Petra sat down beside Chris (lucky girl) and brazenly said, "I'm from a small town, not as small a town as you're from, but small enough and so you know how hard it is to meet someone. So I wanted to know if you thought you would find someone in Iowa." Chris responded that he wasn't sure where he'd meet the woman of his dreams, but he was open. Then Chris Harrison was like, this is taking way too long, so he just asked, "Do you want to date this guy?" Then he gave the two an opportunity to talk during the commercial break, after which they showed Petra giving Chris her number.
Check out the full clip below:
Sure, there’s a huge chance this was all totally staged, but who knows—maybe Petra and Chris will go out, maybe he'll be the next Bachelor and she'll be a contestant, or maybe they'll run off to Iowa and have adorable babies on the farm. (We would totally watch that spin-off.)
Regardless, it made us think about how important it is to take risks and put yourself out there when it comes to love. While it may be a little extreme to fly to a live studio taping to introduce yourself, it's just as crucial to put yourself into situations where you could connect with someone awesome and to not shy away from making a move.
MORE: Why More Men Aren’t Approaching You
So how can you be assertive in the dating game without going overboard? Make yourself approachable, step away from the crowd, and don't be afraid to chat up someone you find interesting, says relationship coach Linda Young, Ph.D. This doesn't mean zeroing in on someone that you're determined to talk to (anyone who has been on the receiving end of a relentless flirt can confirm this isn't a great tactic outside of The Bachelorette). Instead, just be social, mingle, and use these tips to avoid a missed connection.
MORE: The Simple Flirting Technique That Really Works
If there's someone at a party you're dying to meet, put yourself in a position to talk to them (which usually means stepping away from your group of friends and walking over to where they're standing). Catch their eye, smile, comment on something you overheard them say—whatever you're comfortable with, says Young. The point is that you'll have a much better chance of making a connection when you're proactive and not 12 feet away talking to your friend.
And don't be afraid to be a little bold like Petra. If you want to slip a guy your number, send the first OkCupid message, or ask someone out, we say go for it!
MORE: The Number One Way to Hit on a Guy
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