Then next time you notice your friend's feeling blue, resist the urge to give them a pep talk: Trying to cheer someone up after an upsetting event might not make them feel better, according to a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
In the six-part study, researchers asked participants with low self-esteem (measured through a questionnaire) how they would react in hypothetical scenarios if a friend gave them positive or negative comments about their situation. Turns out, participants said they'd prefer to hear the more depressing responses as opposed to the more upbeat ones. Why? One reason could be that empathizing with someone's emotions makes them feel like their current funk is normal and appropriate, suggest study authors.
Hey, we've all had those nothing-can-go-right days when you think karma is just getting back at you for something. And sometimes the only way to get over your slump is to sit with your feelings for a while and really let yourself experience them so you can be done with it and move on. Here are a few times when it's definitely OK to wallow a little:
1. Getting fired from a job you put a ton of time and energy into doing well. Or being laid off without warning.
2. Just narrowly missing being offered a job you busted your butt off to apply for. This is one time when taking second place does not feel like something to celebrate.
3. Watching Steel Magnolias, Stepmom, Simon Birch, or any other number of tearjerkers. Yes, you voluntarily watched them—but you can still wallow the rest of the afternoon if you damn please.
4. Leaving your umbrella at home when it's raining cats and dogs outside. No, the rain won't kill you—but it can put a major damper on your day.
5. Being reprimanded by your boss for a silly mistake. Why couldn't you just have caught it beforehand?!
6. Losing something that has sentimental value to you.
7. Ending a long-term relationship. Whether you're the dumper or the dumpee, heartbreak never feels good.
8. Staining a super-expensive dress right before a special event.
9. PMS. (I don't know this from firsthand experience, but from what I've heard, it's pretty unpleasant.)
You have our full permission to dwell on your negative emotions in these situations and just feel plain crappy. But keep this in the back of your head:
More from Women’s Health:
10 Things You Should Never, Ever Apologize For
13 Mistakes All Women Make at Least Once (and Why That's a Good Thing)
3 Ways to Get Through a Serious Rough Patch
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