Leaning in to a career, starting a life with Mr. Right, purchasing a house—these are the things that most of the women my age are thinking about right now. And while they're definitely in the cards for me too, there's something else in my five-year plan: getting my ovaries removed.
A Bold Decision
Eight years before Angelina Jolie was brave enough to share her story, I was a scared 22-year-old woman who had just found out I carried a BRCA1 genetic mutation. My family's strong cancer history had followed me, and I was preparing to undergo a surgery many viewed as unthinkable. I was healthy and without cancer but carried a risk with odds so extreme I decided to have my healthy breasts removed.
Back in 2006, when a team of doctors at Sloan Kettering performed the operation, I was the youngest patient in the country to make this controversial decision. It was a decision I have never looked back on, in part because it helped reduce my elevated breast cancer risk from around 90 percent to less than 5 percent, but also, because it led me to create Bright Pink, a national non-profit that has educated, equipped and empowered thousands of young women nationwide to reduce their risk of breast and ovarian cancer and to detect these diseases as early as possible. We even have a special arm of the organization dedicated to supporting high-risk women who have lost a family member to breast or ovarian cancer or who carry the same mutation.
For the past seven years, I have poured my energy into leading the charge at Bright Pink, growing our national programs, reaching more women, saving more lives. But sometimes I find myself suddenly startled as I realize my personal high-risk journey is still far from over. At 23 I could comfortably say I had taken my breast health into my own hands but now, at 31, the need to address my ovarian health still remains. My risk of being diagnosed with ovarian cancer could be as high as 54 percent, compared to the average woman's risk of 1.5 percent. This fact is something I can't ignore. Additionally, ovarian cancer strikes at a younger age in women who carry the mutation and, unfortunately, there is really no good screening option for the deadly disease. All of these circumstances, along with a growing body of research, point t o one solution: removing my ovaries by age 35.
Facing My Reality
During my twenties, even after opting for the mastectomy, I was always a little haunted by the ovarian mountain that loomed in the distance. The thing is, removing your ovaries brings on early and immediate menopause. That's not exactly something you expect to happen before you settle down. I would get into relationships and feel overwhelmed by the need to know if he was The One. The pressure was too much, and while some of the guys I dated were just bad picks, I am convinced others were scared away by my intensity and desire to figure out if the relationship could work for the long term.
With a breakup in 2012 and the big 3-0 approaching, I realized that just as I didn't sit back and wait for breast cancer to strike, I couldn't sit back and wait when it came to my fertility. I needed to take action, so I decided to freeze my eggs.
I have to be honest, it wasn't easy. And as comforting as it was to have my mom sitting by my side at doctor's appointments, it was also a constant reminder that I was single, without a partner to endure this experience. There were countless injections, a hormone overload, and a failed cycle—at first, my body didn't take to the treatment. So a couple weeks later, I started again. During the process I couldn't help but wonder why all those hours of working out and choosing the healthier alternative led me to a place where I felt like my body was letting me down. I constantly reminded myself why I was doing this but still, it seemed unfair.
The process was grueling, but once it was over, I felt like a weight had been lifted—my eggs were preserved. Now, even if I choose to start a family after I have my ovaries removed, I would still be able to carry a baby through IVF. And in a funny twist of fate, I fell in love with an amazing man who walked into my life two short weeks later. We've been together for 13 months now. You just can't write this stuff!
Embracing A Better, Brighter Future
So even though two pieces of the puzzle—removing my breasts and preserving my fertility—have been addressed, I still have a deadline ahead of me: 35, the age by which doctors recommend women who are positive for BRCA1 remove their ovaries. What felt so distant when I first learned I carried this gene in my early twenties is now just three and a half years away.
Because this will be the third part of my high-risk journey, I continually remind myself that I am more prepared this time around and that I know what to expect. There will be anxiety, feelings of frustration and fear of the unknown. I will struggle with not being able to let life unfold as it will and, at 35, there will be an operation, recovery, and menopause—hot flashes and the like.
But the bright side—because I really believe with all my heart that there is a big one here—is that I have the option to once again take control of my health, an opportunity that was not afforded to women in generations before me. I will experience the peace of mind and serenity that comes with knowing I will be the first woman in my family whose kids will not have to watch their mother be diagnosed with breast or ovarian cancer. To me, that is invaluable.
If you identify with Lindsay's story as a young woman at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer, Bright Pink has innovative programs to support you on your journey. Learn about PinkPal® one-on-one peer support and Experiential Outreach Groups, support groups with a bright spin, at BrightPink.org.
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