When was the last time you complained about your hair or vented to a friend about a particularly huge pimple? Chances are, it wasn't too long ago. According to a recent survey by TODAY and AOL, 77 percent of adult women complained about their appearance to someone at least once in the past month.
It might not seem like a huge deal—everyone gripes about their looks now and then, right?—but it can actually have some pretty damaging side effects. "That's negative self-talk, and when we hear it, we internalize it," says Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., author of A Happy You. "This self-deprecation may just be about our looks, but it tends to permeate into other areas of our lives." The result: That nagging, nitpicky voice in your head starts popping up a lot more often.
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And here's the really bad news: It's actually contagious, says Lombardo. (Just think of the scene in Mean Girls where they hit the mirror and hate on everything from their pores to their nail beds.) When a friend is dissing her outfit, most of us instinctively fire back with something we don't like about our looks. "It becomes almost like a contest," says Lombardo.
So how do you squash the habit and stop the cycle? If you're constantly making self-deprecating comments, realize how powerful they are and try to focus on what you'd rather be saying about yourself, says Lombardo. Another important tip: Instead of deflecting compliments from others ("Ugh, are you kidding—my roots are so bad!"), just simply say thank you, suggests Lombardo. And don't be afraid to give your friends helpful reminders whenever they're deflecting or being a downer. You'll be stopping the hate-fest before it gets too out of control. For more tips, check out four ways to overcome self-doubt.
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