You're ready to snooze; she's ready to schmooze--yet according to research from the University of Connecticut, the brain may be to blame for this post-orgasmic disconnect.
Oxytocin--also known as the cuddle hormone--is released in the brain during climax and creates the desire to connect with your partner, says lead study author Amanda Denes, Ph.D.
Yet testosterone is believed to dampen the effects of oxytocin, according to the study. So while her brain is buzzing from "O" and prompting her to open up, your system is slowly slipping into sleep-mode.
If you happen to muster the energy to partake in pillow talk, keep the feel-good vibe alive by avoiding these three mood-killing statements:
1. "That was the best sex I've ever had!"
Sure, you may mean well, but comparing her to past partners immediately after she's just done the deed with you can be a buzz kill. Instead, compliment her on something specific tha t just happened between the two of you, says Denes. Couldn't take your eyes off her breasts when she was on top? Can't get over how good she tastes? Let her in on the secret.
2. "That took longer than usual. You okay?"
Women tend to feel particularly vulnerable post-sex, so critiques on her appearance or performance could be really hurtful, says Denes. Instead, rave about her physique, or how sexy she looks post-romp, says Ginger Bercaw, sex therapist and author of The Couple's Guide to Intimacy. Better yet, let her know that there's no place else you'd rather be.
3. "How many times did you get off?"
Asking this makes it seem like you're fishing for compliments on your performance, warns Bercaw. If you really are interested in a review, ask in a more productive way, suggests Jenn Berman, host of VH1's Couple's Therapy. For example: "Tell me two things you did like and two things yo u didn't like." That way you can get a genuine reaction to how she's feeling.
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