Tuesday, December 31, 2013

25 Ways to Blow All Your Gift Cards

25 Ways to Blow All Your Gift Cards

Face it: You'll probably forget that fat stack of gift cards you received yesterday once all the presents get put away this weekend--unless you act fast. Put that newly earned Amazon, iTunes, and American Express cash to good use by picking up these under-the-radar albums, books, movies, TV shows, and games from 2013. You might have missed these entertaining distractions this year, but you can discover and enjoy them right now.  

MOVIES

Mud
Matthew McConaughey's career renaissance continues with an outstanding performance in this nifty film--a Huck Finn-like fairytale about two boys who find a convict living off the land in a rural Arkansas river town. McConaughey plays the felon who helps the kids learn a thing or two about being a man and growing up. They do the same for him in return.

Prisoners
This whodunnit starring Hugh Jackman and Jake Gyllenhaal is reminiscent of Se7en and Zodiac--thrillers so dark they're hard to sit through and even harder to shake. But ridiculously good acting and genuinely surprising twists make the darkness worth your while.

Drinking Buddies
If the words "romantic comedy" drum up painful memories of Kate Hudson chasing after anonymous guy after anonymous guy, set those preconceptions aside for Drinking Buddies. Writer-director Joe Swanberg is known for his amusing, mostly improvised indie movies, but he outdoes himself here. Working with the likes of Olivia Wilde, Anna Kendrick, and New Girl's Jake Johnson, Swanberg turns out his best film to date--and the most perceptive rom-com in years.

Prince Avalanche
It's the best movie ever made about guys who paint lines on roads. Yes, that might not say much about the latest from director David Gordon Green, but the fact that it turns a mind-numbing profession into a pretty fascinating, enigmatic, and surprisingly funny 90-minute movie is simply crazy. 

The Place Beyond the Pines
This brooding, moody, brilliant film sprawls generations of cops and criminals in Schenectady, New York. In three distinct acts--which star the likes of Ryan Gosling and Bradley Cooper--it tells a story of damaged bonds between fathers and sons and the things some men will do to maintain or strengthen those bonds. It's truly powerful stuff.

ALBUMS

Jason Isbell: Southeastern
Isbell, who once cut his teeth in the alt-country collective Drive-By Truckers, delivers his strongest solo effort yet with his fourth album, a moving set of songs about sobriety, cancer, and death. Bleak topics, sure--but Isbell also infuses Southeastern with heavy doses of hope. He's a kindred spirit of Springsteen.

Superchunk: I Hate Music
Like a well-oiled machine, these indie-punk pioneers have reliably churned out smart, bratty coming-of-age anthems for three decades. The great surprise: I Hate Music just might be their peak. The subject matter is a little darker, but the melodies are sunnier, the tempos nimbler, and the riffs crunchier than ever.

Free Energy: Love Sign
Love Sign is wholly unoriginal, but that's its calling card. Free Energy unabashedly takes everything you love about classic rock--the twin guitar solos, the corny synthesizers, the friggin' cowbell--and whips it all up into one big, dumb, deliciously fun blend. This is music meant for parking lots at state fairs. It's the best album of 1978 that just so happened to be released in 2013.

Mikal Cronin: MCII
Like his hometown of San Francisco, this young singer-songwriter's sophomore album is breezy, carefree, and a little psychedelic. Infectious choruses on singles like "Weight" and "Shout it Out" will suck you in, but the fuzzy guitars and flower-power harmonies will keep you pressing repeat--especially when you need a summer sound to combat winter's doldrums.

Iron Chic: The Constant One
Apologize to your steering wheel now, because it will have taken a beating by the time you've finished drumming along to The Constant One on your morning commute. Long Island's Iron Chic specialize in blistering, throaty, life-affirming pop-punk--the kind you played in your garage with your friends in high school, back when everything meant something. Need a jolt of energy and inspiration before the daily grind? Crank this--and remember to keep an eye on the road.

BOOKS

Nick Offerman: Paddle Your Own Canoe
Actor Nick Offerman traces his life from his childhood on an Illinois farm to playing icon of manliness Ron Swanson on NBC's Parks and Recreation with a great deal more wit and genuine humility than is typically evident in celebrity memoirs. Along the way he extols the merits of properly romancing a woman--specifically his wife, actress Megan Mullally--sitting peacefully in nature, and making things with your own two hands.

Benjamin Percy: Red Moon
Remember when supernatural novels were terrifying tales about the deep truths of human nature, and not fodder for tween romance fantasies? Red Moon is a werewolf tale for grown-ups. Set in the modern day western U.S., it's violent and bloody like a horror book should be, but with themes of the human struggle for equality--and how that's undermined by mankind's fear of differences--that elevate the novel from genre fiction to true literature.

Thomas Pynchon: Bleeding Edge
This modern noir revolves around a New York private detective investigating a computer security firm that's building sentient computers, but it feels boundless the way only a Thomas Pynchon novel can. Kicking off in mid-2001 and barreling through 9/11, Bleeding Edge is at times funny, often dirty, and frequently frightening. Exploring this paranoid, knotty world will remind you that an era we often remember as innocent and naïve was far from both. 

Matt Kindt: Mind MGMT
Matt Kindt artfully broadens the storytelling capabilities of graphic novels with his intricately layered story of a journalist who discovers a secret agency of psychic spies. The interwoven mysteries and a tragedy on a Flight 815 have begged comparisons to the TV show Lost, but Mind MGMT is much deeper and consistent where the popular drama was frustrating. 

Nate Jackson: Slow Getting Up: A Story of NFL Survival from the Bottom of the Pile
For as much football as we watch as a nation, we know shockingly little about life off the field for NFL players. Former Broncos tight end Nate Jackson peels back the curtain and reveals the truth behind players' injuries, the many painkillers and injections that help them stay in the game, and the both cruel and compassionate ways they're treated by coaches and other players.

TV SHOWS

Brooklyn Nine-Nine
The post-9/11, stop-and-frisk N.Y.P.D. is serious business, but Brooklyn Nine-Nine finds laughs by mining the same legendary New York City weirdness as 1980s comedy classics like Night Court and Taxi. It helps that the brilliant cast features Andy Samberg playing against genius straight man Andre Braugher, along with newcomers Chelsea Peretti and Melissa Fumero. 

Children's Hospital and NTSF:SD:SUV 
This pair of whip-smart and lightning-fast comedies--each is only 15-minutes long, and they air back-to-back--eviscerates all the standard tropes of network mainstays like E.R., Grey's Anatomy, and N.C.I.S. Plus the rotating cast features just about every funny person currently working on television.

Orphan Black
In Orphan Black's first scene, the main character (the crazy-talented Tatiana Maslany) spots a woman who looks exactly like her stepping in front of a moving train--then she takes the dead woman's purse and decides to live her life to clean out her savings account. She soon discovers more doubles of herself, each one convincingly portrayed as unique by Maslany, in this subversive thriller with elements of cop show, espionage drama, and sci-fi. It's perfect for a binge-watching weekend. 

The Americans
Come for the unusual perspective on Reagan-era America through the eyes of a pair of KGB deep cover operatives, then stay for the double-crossings, car chases, disguises straight out of your family's Polaroid album, and a ruthless Felicity (Keri Russell) with a pistol.  

Kroll Show 
Most sketch comedy shows can be easily consumed one online clip at a time. But Nick Kroll's is the only one that rewards viewers who stick through an entire season. Just watch how the talented character actor's witheringly pitch-perfect parodies of reality shows metastasize to spawn parody spin-offs for one ridiculous "breakout" star after another, just like the Kardashians, Real Housewives, and many lovers of Flavor Flav.

VIDEO GAMES

Don't Starve (PC, OS X, Linux, PS4)
Don't Starve is simple in premise: You play a Tim Burton-esque cartoon figure whose only goal is to survive in a wilderness while fending off hunger, exhaustion, and the occasional monsters. The game only ends when you die, which you will--a lot. But by offering no instructions and allowing you the freedom to experiment and discover the world as you please, you'll want to play again and again.

The Stanley Parable (PC, OS X)
Take your standard office cubicle farm, add an omnipresent "narrator" who mocks you in a British accent, and allow players to either follow the scripted narrative or explore their own path and seemingly endless outcomes. The result: One of the most surprisingly thoughtful and simultaneously absorbing games of 2013.

Divekick (PS3, PS Vita, PC)
Sure, Divekick is a parody of fighting games, but that doesn't make it any less thrilling to play. With only two moves--jump and kick--and a character that dies with one hit, every round quickly evolves into a delicate dance with each player jockeying to make the first, lethal blow. Instead of the win going to whoever memorized the most button combinations, victory depends on pure reflexes and skill. 

Trine 2 (PC, Linux, OS X, PS3, PS4, Wii U)
In a videogame era of celebrity voice acting and budgets that rival the latest cinema would-be blockbuster, sometimes the basics matter the most. Trine 2 is a side-scroller like your old Nintendo favorites Super Mario Bros. and Double Dragon, but with killer graphics and a natural, intuitive feel to the controls. Play as a wizard, warrior, and archer either solo or with a partner, and rescue the princess. How much complexity does a video game really need?

Reus (PC)
In Reus you're a small, lifeless planet who uses adorable giants to create oceans, forests, swamps, and mountains that are populated by humans that will either worship you or hate you. Initially simple, the game soon reveals itself to be rich, detailed, and full of surprises. Luckily, each session is limited to 30, 60, or 120 minutes, before your giants "return to their slumber," thus preventing you from blowing a whole day cultivating your tiny world. 

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