Girlfriend allergic to PDA? Don’t feel bad: People report withholding affection from their partners an average of five times a week, finds new research from West Virginia University.
In the study, the most common reason men and women refrained from showing love was so that others wouldn’t see them as clingy or overly touchy-feely, says study author Shannon Carton. People also nixed public friskiness for inappropriate circumstances like family being in the room, or because they were frustrated with their significant other.
The occasional holdout won’t hurt your relationship unless it’s for malicious reasons, but you also don’t want to go completely cold. “Affection is generally good for relationships,” says Carton. Studies show touching your partner can up your satisfaction and lower your stress, blood pressure, and heart rate.
Can’t tell when she’s ticked off? First, start paying more attention to her everyday body language so you can see what isn’t normal. That way it’ll be easier to gauge when she’s stressed or upset, says Tonya Reiman, author of The Body Language of Dating.
Two examples: If she normally doesn’t blink often but suddenly she’s doing it twice every second, that’s a dead giveaway. Same goes for her pout—she’ll likely bite her entire lower lip when she’s bothered by something, Reiman says.
Additional reporting from Scott Rosenfield.
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