Feeling hot, but she’s not? Let it be: Relationships can suffer if one partner has sex just to avoid disappointing the other, finds a new study from the University of Toronto.
Okay, so what if she doesn’t want to let you down and decides to give it a go anyway? In theory you’d still enjoy it, but the study suggests otherwise. When one partner pursues sex to avoid negative outcomes in the relationship, nobody ends up satisfied, says study author Amy Muise, Ph.D.
It could be because you pick up on her physical cues, the researchers speculate. If your girlfriend isn’t on the same page as you, you may be able to sense it, which impacts your desire. (And if you’re merely going through the motions, she’ll also detect it, the study finds.)
Look: No matter what mood you’re in, sex naturally gives your body a boost. But you don’t want to get in the habit of getting it on when you’re not feeling up to it, Muise says. “If all you’re left with after sex are feelings of dissatisfaction—and then that becomes the norm over time—that’s when this is going to hurt the relationship,” she explains.
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